pick apart the day, put the pieces back together my way

everything has gone my way as well as the other direction all in one week. my first week at cypress was an awesome experience. waking up for classes that started at 7 in the morning wasn't too bad. if anything, i woke up like 10 minutes before my alarm went off from all the anticipation on my first day! i never met and became so comfortable with so many people in just 3 days. sitting in class during lectures were far from thrilling.. fattest syllabus of life, handout after handout, protocols, classroom/cinical procedures, skills videos... but i was very eager to learn and just so stoked that i'm even in a nursing program. at times i found myself forcing my heavy eyes open, jolting after my head slips between my hands as i try to hold it up, and twitching after putting my head down just for a minute. i figured out that rigorously taking notes kept my attention during long videos and lectures. running to the snack shop and downing a frap in 5 minutes was a big help too =) skills lab was interesting. bathed a black mannikin with half a leg that my partner and i dubbed mrs. brown. it was our job to explain to mrs. brown everything we were doing to make her as comfortable as possble..haha.. we learned how to make beds, which is more complicated than it sounds...trust. i also brushed my partner's teeth and he had to brush mine. can you say awkward? pretty hilarious though. never had anyone brush my teeth for me before.. then we checked each others vitals signs.. temperature, blood pressure, and respirations.. big stuff! haha everything was pretty basic.. with everything, the more you practice, the better you do and the more confident you become. towards the end of the day, your pretty amazed at how fast it all went and how much you've learned and accomplished..

my first week at cypress was an awesome... experience. too bad i won't be able to know how the rest of the semester goes......... cuz i got accepted into cal state long beach's nursing program!!!!! i was given an opportunity that i couldn't refuse. but i did feel bad after starting the program at cypress and that St. Marys was paying for everything and then allsuh i'm just gunna leave when that spot could have been given to someone else. but its a straight BSN program and that was the whole point of me going to csulb in the first place. not to mention my condo, i'm back to walking and biking and seeing my long beach friends, and fighting temptations passing by the vendors, and walking miles across campus, and gazing at the cherry blossoms and ducks and squirrels, and people watching, and walking around with 1000+ students, aaand finally being able to buy a beer at the nugget!! i guess you can say i never realized how good i had it at long beach until i went to another, more alien, school. its pretty crazy because two years ago in 06, i wrote in a journal all my future plans and goals. one of them was to be accepted into a nursing program by fall 08. if only everything i want that i write down became reality. think of the possibilities!! but seriously, writing out your plans and goals and working towards them really does keep you mentally focused and motivated. honestly, i totally forgot i wrote that and to my surprise just recently found it in my journal afterwards. i know this program will be way more challenging than the other one. more theory basically. which is fine by me.. i know i won't let myself fail. just remember to take it one day at a time.

as far as revamping the condo goes, yeah, it hasn't really gone.... lime green walls are gone tho thank heavens! my days started early but felt too short to really accomplish anything except for 3+ chapters of reading and organizing. but since i've been granted another week of vacation, might as well make the most of it. so far i've spent it at a bonfire and manhattan beach.. loved it. i want the condo done and livable by friday before my birthday weekend.

lately its been hard to get out of bed. the past few days i haven't been looking forward to waking up in the morning. i'm pretty much numb and a zombie throughout the day with my heart heavy and my indifferent eyes hiding behind sunglasses. sounds pretty morbid huh? i'm sorry, readers, but i will not talk about it. but since your reading this shit, i know you care. so i want you to know that i'll be ok.

other than that, again, no reason to complain.. things could always be worse, but be thankful its not. have a nice first week of school elco students!