quick update

i have an itouch and my hair is growing =)))))))

needs and wants

i need an ipod. i want my hair long.

i forgot where i was going with this

i wanna stop smoking. i smoke to help five minutes pass by. living by myself drives me crazy sometimes yet it feels almost necessary in order to concentrate and focus on studying. but even tho i am privilaged to have a productive study environment, half the time i just wanna sleep after waking up early every morning and sitting through 3 hour classes. i miss how everything was. being carefree just loses it's meaning as we grow older. in high school you miss the carefree days of grade school. in college you realize how carefree high school was in relation to obligation, structure, routine, seeing your friends everyday. and then you realize how carefree the first 2-3 years of college was until you finally realize you'll be out in the real world in less than 5 years and preparation consumes most of your time and yourself. in order to be successful, you have to change your lifestyle, let go of what you're used to, and adapt to a lifestyle that will lead to your success. its peachy to think about, exciting anticipation even. but its harder to let go than you think. if your like me, you can't just wing everything anymore. i think i totally went off on a tangent right now. i don't mean to sound depressing. i'm merely just trying to make sense of what i'm feeling at this moment. and at this moment i feel i should be studying instead of writing this. but it makes me feel better.

but to consolidate my thoughts, what i really wanted to remind myself, was that the meaning of carefree to me is different now. its so much better.... carefree days are scarce. and once you stumble upon one, you appreciate it so much more. you take all the stressful work one day at a time, and before you know it, you're done with it, and it'll feel so good. you can finally breathe and do whatever your want.. and you do it again and again and all you have to do is sacrifice a little, take one step back two steps forward i always say, and before you know it, you're done! and the spoils feel better and better each time. its sounds so simple, but i know its not. i know there will be times when you just wanna rip your hair out or punch someone in the face or whatever.. thats where discipline comes in. train yourself, discipline yourself. i have so much to look forward to once i'm done, and i absolutely can't wait. it motivates me.

but anyways, i forgot where i was going with this. i miss luan.

VENT #2

people who think they're too good for you and fakes..

vent 1: i'm not surprised

just when you think someone can't be anymore oblivious, they surprise you.

LOST

what do i do now.....

you know you want it

pineapple cupcakes

double chocolate cake

insanely delicious giant donut